Akinbode & Bamidele Oluwole 's Story
How did you meet your partner?
Believe it or not, I had a premonition that I was going to meet my husband to be during a visit to see some family members in Osogbo. One evening on 10th of Sept, 2000, I went to the pharmacy with my cousins to get some drugs; after getting the drugs, we got so caught up in our conversation that we stood there chatting in front of the pharmacy instead of heading home. That was the moment Akinbode ran in to get some drugs. He turned out to be a friend of my cousins as he noticed and headed towards us on his way out. I had never met him before and I could barely make out his face in evening light but I heard a voice whisper to me’, this is your husband’.
What was the attraction?
We were introduced, exchanged a handshake and pleasantries and we all got caught up gisting so much that 45minutes went by before he realised that his mother was home waiting to use the paracetamol he had come to buy While chatting with him, I noticed he was a fun filled person who is lively all the way. He promised to check on us the following day which I surprisingly looked forward to.
He asked me out on 12th of Sept, 2000 and I gave him my consent on the 14th of Sept 2000.
Time flies when you're having fun and even faster when you're in love. 8 years flew by without me realising it, the years where full of love, hope and dreams. We were best of friends; he was my one true soul mate. We could never stay angry at each other for long , when we have a quarrel or fight, within a day or two we would have apologised and made-up. We always talked things through, which helped us grow as a couple.
Where and when did you share your first kiss?
We had our first kiss on the 16th of Sept, 2000. It was my first kiss ever. It was amazing though I was very shy.
Where did the proposal take place?
He proposed to me 8years after courting. He invited me to his house, we were both gisting and having a nice time in his room when suddenly, he said he had a gift for me. That made me expectant but I never figured it would be a ring as I honestly wasn't expecting him to propose to me then. He brought out a ring and went on his knees asking 'Bamidelemi, will u give me the privilege of having your hand in marriage? Will u marry me?’ I was shocked but I said yes and pulled him up for a very long kiss.
How did you feel about giving up the perks/independence that comes with being a spinster?
It wasn't as if I was giving up my independence for marriage because he practically knew every movement of mine so it was easy to adapt to marriage life for me as far as independence is concerned.
How soon after the proposal did preparations begin?
We did not start the marriage plans until April 2009; my parents were a little reluctant because they wanted me to finish my degree program before marriage. After much persuasion, they finally gave into my decision to finish my degree program after marriage.
How was the experience like planning the wedding?
Planning the wedding was something else; nothing could have prepared me for how much we fought and argued while the planning as we fought over every little detail. He didn’t really like the idea of an elaborate and loud wedding while I wanted a wedding with all the trimmings. He also wanted me to get pregnant before marriage but I was against it. At the end of the day, with a lot of compromise we both got some of the things we wanted.
How did it feel when you finally said “I do” to your soul mate?
I got married to my heartthrob on the 31st of Oct, 2009. It was one of the happiest days of my life. When I looked into his eyes and said the words ‘I do’, it was like the whole world stood still for us. I can never forget the love in his eyes every time he looked at me in my white flowing wedding gown at the altar.
How is life after the honeymoon?
We unfortunately did not have the privilege of a honeymoon because he had to be back at the office the next Tuesday, so there was no time for travelling or other stuff but it was still a magical time.
After the wedding ceremony, I got to discover marriage is a totally different ballgame from courtship. There were still so many issues and circumstances to overcome and adjust to. We argued and fought so many times over the same things. Our marriage was not made in heaven because we had our ups and down, we had our challenges but we surmounted them with lots of prayers, patience and love.
Life hits us with so many things and we should make the best of it as you can’t live life twice. On the 28th of Sept, 2012 I lost my husband Akinbode Olaoluwakiitan Oluwole in a car accident. There are no words to describe the pain. We were married for 2yrs 11months. I will always cherish the memory of my husband and the short and special time we shared with each other, He completed me in every way and I knew I was deeply loved. He meant more than the world to me.
When the reality of his death hit home, my thoughts were; how will I go on without my best friend? How can I survive this? We made every single decision together no matter how small or trivial it was. I would ping him for the most stupid information or question.
I had always looked up to him as my soul provider. I know where ever he is, his love for me in unending, However, looking at our son Richard Akinteju Oluwole who is 19 months old, I see a reason to live on, I see a reason to keep the torch burning no matter how difficult it maybe. He gives me a reason to live as he is Akinbode's legacy.
Any advice to young people out there planning on getting married soon?
To young people reading this piece, I’d like you to understand that marriage is not always a bed of roses, you will have challenges and your ability to surmount them will determine if your marriage will work out or not, my dear don't expect a perfect man because you are not perfect too so you have to learn to accept your partner with all his/her flaws. Put God first and please appreciate every minute you spend with each other you never know when the last moments will come. Disagreements are bound to happen; when you fight, don't let fight stall for too long, Settle things amicable and in good time.
I hope my piece would be of help to at least one person reading this. God bless you. OWSN
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