Olawale & Omolabake Obaremo's Story
How We Met
How did you meet your partner?
We were in the same camp (Lagos) during our NYSC orientation programme, in fact the same platoon, but we weren't friends until after the camp. He came to my local govt to register only for him to realise that wasn't where he should register. We saw each other and exchanged pleasantries and phone numbers
What was the attraction?
Well, I wouldn't say we really liked each other initially, probably we did but maybe we were both denying our feelings. I remember him telling me that he used to dislike me so much in camp, because according to him, I always had boys around me and I was an attention seeker, lol. So, he always 'abused' me each time he saw me.
What was your first impression of him/her?
Hmmm, I met him for the first time in camp, but he wouldn't remember. My first impression of him was that he was a snob. There was an issue about our university ID cards, I approached him thinking we finished from the same school, he just gave me this look and responded with a sharp "NO". Maybe the impressions he had about me made him respond that way.
Was it love at first sight?
Well, I wouldn't know if it was love at first sight, but I am sure there was an attraction. If not, how else would one explain that out of over 4000 ladies in camp, I was the one he kept noticing and 'abusing', lol.
How did you ask her out? Were you friends at first?
Yes, we were friends for a short while, calling each other on the phone and asking about each other's welfare. Then it was more like seeking each other's advice on issues concerning NYSC and place of primary assignment.
Where did you go to on your first date?
We went to see a movie, DUE DATE.
How did it go?
It was a romantic comedy, we laughed over it. Afterwards we played snooker, had a couple of drinks together and went to our respective homes.
How long was your courtship?
How did you make up after fights?
We understood each other perfectly and never really had a 'fight' while we courted. So making up after a misunderstanding wasn't much ado.
Where and when did you share your first kiss?
He says on our first date, but I say after that when I went to his house. Well, on our first date, we had a bet while playing snooker. I was the first to win, then I told him to kneel in front of me in public, which he did. Thereafter, it was his turn to give the terms of the bet and he said if I lost, I would kiss him. So I lost, although not intentionally, I had no choice but to kiss him. He sees that as our first kiss, but I don't.
Did you at any point have doubts about him/her while you were courting and before the wedding?
When did you realize that he/she was the one?
That would be when we started courting, because he was totally different. He was able to control me properly and I saw the qualities I always wanted in a man.
Did you have to give up any vice (tangible/intangible) in order to be with him/her since it had gotten to the marriage stage?
I was the all out fun kind of girl, so I had to curb that.
How did you feel about giving up the perks/independence that comes with being a bachelor/spinster?
It was very easy for me when I realised he was the one. I knew I would be becoming a better person with him, so there wasn't any fear whatsoever about losing my independence.
The line between respecting one's spouse and fearing them is very thin. How have you been able to draw this line clearly in your marriage?
Before we got married, we were friends, a lot of people actually thought he was my brother because of the kind of relationship we had. Even after marriage, my husband has continued with that friendly disposition and it's so easy for me to see him as a friend, a brother, a father and a husband. I respect him a lot, even the book of God says 'Husbands, love your wife' and 'Wife, respect your husbands'. A wife should always strive to please her husband and not make him angry, that isn't fear, it's respect.
Were your parents ever against your choice of partner? What reasons did they give?
Ordinarily, we thought my father would be against our relationship, but to our surprise he wasn't. I am from a Muslim home and he's a Christian. As the only girl, my father had always reiterated the fact that he wanted a Muslim son-in-law. But to God be the Glory, he met my husband and never objected.
How was the experience like planning the wedding?
All I can say is to God be the glory. Every wedding comes with the stress of making the day a perfect one.
Did you experience any pre-wedding jitters or cold feet at any point?
Not at all.
Did you have a big ceremony or a small ceremony for your wedding?
We had what l call a medium sized ceremony.
How did it feel when you finally said “I do” to your soul mate?
There wasn't any difference because we were already both committed to each other, saying the I DO was just a re-affirmation of that.
Where did you spend your honeymoon?
In a hotel in Lagos.
How long was it?
It wasn't a long one because we both had to get back to work.
Any word for young people out there who are getting into the world of marriage?
PATIENCE! That's the word and the key to any successful marriage. Patience is one virtue a wife or husband must have. With that and the Almighty God with you, your marriage is on a solid rock.
How have you been able to merge raising a family and your various careers?
We have one kid now. I wouldn't say it has been a bed of roses, especially having to take care of the baby, the home, and also not lagging behind at work. It's just the grace of God and also my supporting husband. He has a way of making all the stress go away and he is so understanding.
Based on your experience in marriage, will you choose wives or husbands for your children or you will rather let them explore the world and make their mistakes? what are your reasons?
No, no, no. I'd prefer they explore, but I will be with them all the way to guide and counsel them. If my dad hadn't allowed me and insisted on my marrying a Muslim, only God knows who I would have married. And I couldn't be happier with another man,
that I am sure of.
What has been your secret of keeping your marriage going?
Friendship. This goes a long way in every marriage. Without friendship, a marriage will feel boring, monotonous and depressing. I don't believe it's love that holds a marriage, if it was, there won't be divorces out there. Love is necessary, yes. But friendship, care and understanding are the ultimate. Then finally, always reference God.
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