Adedayo & Adaora Obatola's Story
How did you meet your partner?
We met at our place of work: Marine Platforms. She had started work while I was absent from work as I lost my mum at that time. She has always been a very good friend. She was that lady my friend and I would share ‘p-setting’ stories with over the weekend. I remember an incident a while back, before we started dating, I had a dispute with my then girlfriend and had to go and beg her at the hotel but earlier that day I had gone to see a movie with Adaora, so I took her (Adaora) along with me to see my then girlfriend. She waited for me in the reception while I did all the begging. All three of us walked to my car after the reconciliation. *chuckles*
What was the attraction?
It was as simple as her sending a document to print on the central wireless printer and Bam! I decided I wanted to marry her. I ran to it by a couple of friends, out of which only one was supportive. Others only had a good laugh. It was one of those crazy things I occasionally remember. Really, I can’t particularly say the attraction was the face or something else. I would simply, humbly call it a divine attraction, an attraction meant to be on the day it all started.
What was your first impression about her?
I saw a lady that was matured but green, I saw a lady in who what you see is what you get. I saw someone who I could mould to be my dream lady, someone who has the fear of God in her. I saw in her the dedication I desired. I saw her as someone very loving, encouraging and is never a party to wasteful spending. I had seen someone who would be easily accepted by my family.
Was it love at first sight?
I wouldn't exactly say it was love at first sight, because there had been plenty of ‘sightings’ even before that day. I also wouldn't say it wasn't love at first sight either, rather I would say it was love grown over a period of time.
How did you ask her out?
Asking her out took a lot of ‘strategizing’, I actually remember preparing ‘strategies’ on this little white board in my room on how to win Adaora's heart. It seemed then to people like I was losing it and everyone at the time would have recommended me for the psychiatric home but it was what I had to do. She had so much information already about me, being a close friend. So much was already going on, so much had been said and so much had been done. This made me think about how weird it would be to see her actually come back to say this very bad guy I know is the guy I am going to date. So, the first strategy was to finding out about everyone asking her out. It was easy to know since we were already friends and she felt comfortable sharing such information which helped me winning the prize (her heart). It would interest you to know that I was the lowest bid amongst her toasters at that time. I was the guy that just finished NYSC, I was nowhere close to a guy she should date if you put it on a scale of all the people she had at time on her case. Amongst the numerous people on her case, my major concern was a particular guy who I felt was trying to play it down but liked her also very much, I only needed him to travel. I also knew that she had many guys on her case in her estate, so my next line of action was to take her out of her estate. I was able to achieve that by taking her out frequently. I would pick her up at 8 in the morning before the guys woke up and drop her off at 10p.m when she is too tired and weak to see anyone. This happened for about 3 weeks and gradually, we grew through all the ranks from goodnight to holding hands, from hugging to pecks, from kissing the forehead to many more. In the fourth week, I was in my house lying down on her laps when she suddenly asked the million-dollar question, 'Adedayo, what are we doing?' At that point in time, I knew the games were over. It was time to hit the nail on the head and then I said, 'I like you some much and I would love to date you' and that’s how it all started.
Where did have your first date?
I can't really remember but our first major date was at Eko Hotel and Suites.
How did it go?
It went very well. She isn’t the type that eats too much, so I kinda felt a bit of money was wasted since she ate a little. It was a buffet! I planned for her to eat the world. LOL.
How long was your courtship?
The courtship lasted for three years.
How do you guys make up after fights?
Like I always say, the only times Adaora and I fight for long are when we want to actually fight for long. We have gotten to that point where we know the things we need to do to make each other laugh. We make up through kisses, sometimes a forceful hug that turns to a calm hug and all laughs again or it can be a poke in the neck that makes her laugh.
How and where did you share your first kiss?
Our first kiss was in my room, in my father's house. LOL.
Did you at any point have doubt about her while you were courting and before the wedding?
I have never for one day had doubts about her. I have never had a reason to regret my choice. She truly is a special woman.
When did you realize that she was the one?
I would say the very first day I decided to date her.
Where did the proposal take place?
It happened in the living room in my father's house. I initially wanted the usual fanfare or do the beach thing or doing the putting the ring in a chocolate and so on, but like I said earlier, she is a simple lady that does eat too much, watches sugar level and so on. I remember she didn’t want to go out on that day so I just had to do it in the house.
What was her reaction?
She was very excited.
Did you give any vice in other to be with her since it had gotten to the marriage stage?
Well, I had to start thinking for ‘two’ as against living in ‘my’ world.
How did it feel giving up the independence that comes with being a bachelor?
Ah! Initially, I felt scared but so far so good, my wife has been very understanding.
The line between respecting one's spouse and fearing them is very thin. How have you been able to draw this line clearly in your marriage?
Funny enough, rather than fear my wife, I respect her. There is really no cause to be afraid.
How soon after the engagement did preparations begin:?
A year. We actually got married on the corresponding Saturday, the following year after I proposed to her.
Were your parents ever against your choice of partner? What reasons did they give:
Personally, I have always wanted an inter-tribal marriage (i.e a non-yoruba babe). I always wanted to marry someone from my mother's (May she continue to rest in peace) as a sign of respect to her bearing in mind that she always talked about me marrying someone from her place or someone from outside the yoruba tribe. My parent most definitely did not have anything against my choice of partner.
How was the experience like planning the wedding?
I already felt married in my heart, even before the wedding. However, planning the wedding in the physical was not an easy thing, especially combining it with work.
Did you experience any pre-wedding jitters or cold feet at any point?
Did you have a big ceremony or a small wedding?
It was a rather massive ceremony.
How did it feel when you finally said “I do” to your soul mate?
Like wow! I thought of the new responsibilities. We need to do what we have to do, we are married now and kids would come.
Where did you spend your honeymoon?
Abu Dhabi and Dubai
How long was it?
The honeymoon lasted for about a month. Four days in Abu Dhabi and twenty-seven days in Dubai.
What memorable places did you visit?
There was the Ferrari world, Burj Al-Arab and Dubai city mall.
How is life after the honeymoon?
Back to reality. You have the feeling that you are both more or less in your own world.
What has been your secret of keeping your marriage going?
Fun , Communication , less fighting and Comedy.
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