Career Vs Family
I’m not regaling you with my boring wedding quests. (on a side-note… let me just say that all that attending a wedding to catch the love bug thing they feed us in movies is a MYTH. But that
is for another day). Today’s topic is ‘career vs family’ with focus on women. “If I offered you this deal in our marriage, would you accept it? For the first 10-15 years of our marriage, after we start having kids, you will be a housewife, but… you calculate the salary you could have been earning in a
company, I give you that and at the end of the housewife period, I pay for your PHD or whatever academic pursuit you have in mind and support you if you decide to join the work force.”
What ensued after my lecturer threw that question in class was a ‘debate of life’. The shocked expressions on the faces of my female friends when I said I would jump at the offer were and still are, indescribable. “Am I supposed to just throw all my education away?, God forbid…, Is he mad? Why would I even consider it? So you want to be a housewife?.. na wa.” Were the questions that followed the expression. I may be called a huge feminist at times but No matter what anyone
likes to think or say, let's forget the 21st century women’s movement; the whatever a man can do a
woman can do better theories, the human rights gender equality movements, let’s forget all these things...The truth is, as far as I’m concerned, I’m first and foremost, a MOTHER, a
wife, and then any other thing can follow..
A lot of women in this generation wonder why they have 2 minute marriages or kids that are so ill-mannered. It’s quite simple; they are all “career-women” and have no time for their kids
during their formative years. These kids are left to their own devices and are trained by Disney, nickelodeon and whatever maids are left in the house with them. You wonder why you’re there with hot potato ‘phon-air’ and your kids are sounding like they live in the village. Let’s face it, no matter what the movements preach or what the women liberation conferences encourage, it’s a woman’s
responsibility to take build her home and care for her kids. .After you incubated another living being in your body for 9 months, the level of responsibility you have towards it is on another level entirely. Please don’t give me the “me and my husband have equal responsibility speech”. If that
was the case, you both would have shared incubation; you take the first 4.5 months, he takes the
remaining half. This is just my point from the moral point of view. From the financial point of view, the labour market certainly isn’t waiting to welcome you. Chances are that you wouldn’t break into it fast enough nor will your job be guaranteed. The company may be downsizing 5 years down the
line and you’d find yourself back home anyway. But this time as an unpaid housewife when you could have just taken the deal in the first place. This deal gives you vacation benefits, more hours and even time to research the best businesses to invest in. You can even own stores or apartments that don’t require your constant attention but pay just as much as your regular 9-5 job. And that
thing about your certificate wasting is unbelievable. Open your eyes, walk into banks, there are engineers and mass communication graduates behind the teller. Earning 60,000 and counting dirty money all day, every day. Is their certificate serving it’s purpose? I don’t think so.
I’m not entirely ruling out working as a wife and mum, all I’m saying is if a woman can’t find a balance between her career and her home then she ought to make the right choice which is staying at home to look after the home. our priorities as women shouldn’t be screwed up in our struggle to continue to prove 2000 years later that women and men are equal . We shouldn’t let our kids/ families suffer to prove a point. As women our potentials are so great. Most women are so in the clouds with keeping up with the world’s trends that they are ready to give up the happiness of the home to prove a point. Career women are beyond awesome but when your career starts to cause a breach in your family dynamics at home, then you need a rain check on that career choice. Of course I’m not talking about single mothers or struggling families, I’m talking about the women who have been offered these sort of deals and declined. I believe one of the steps we can take to making the world a better place is taking our responsibilities to our family more seriously. A family is a single unit that integrates into a larger one. How does a cancer spread? All it takes is one… just one rotten cell out of millions to corrupt the whole body. So if we can nip this at the bud, it’s a start in the right direction. Any opportunity I can get to be there during the formative years of my kids, I would grasp with both hands. I hope i have been able to make you see why I would rather be a paid housewife than a career woman after all, the major reason why I’m working is to get paid, isn’t it?
About AuthorAdeosun Enitan is a young aspiring writer that likes to scribble her thoughts in a quirky, down-to-earth manner.You can follow her on Twitter @TigerFireRose
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